Introduction

[Note: The entries in this diary appear last in first out, after this Introduction.]

This is my diary of my experiences with weight loss surgery. I use this general term, because there are two (actually more) types of weight loss operations: gastric bypass or lap-band. But, I am getting ahead of myself. Click to see more...

[Note: in the rest of this blog, you will see the "Click to see more..." message at the end of each posting. Many times,there is actually nothing more. So, at the end of those posts, I have proceeded the "more" link with "End of post, so don't ...".]

Friday, September 26, 2008 I had my first set of appointments in the preliminary examinations for Weight Loss Surgery. Here are the facts:

• Weight: 343lbs (350lbs with clothes on, but I will use 343 as it seems to be my body weight set point)
  
• Height: 5' 11"
• Body Mass Index: 47.8 (non-overweight BMI: 18.5-24.9)

(go to BMI Calculator to figure out yours)

The standard qualifications for WLS patients are a BMI > 40 and an age between 18 and 65. I qualify.

I had an electrocardiogram which was judged OK, but there was one little dip where there should have been a rise and so, since I am 61 I am scheduled for a stress test to make sure everything is OK.

The subject of the appointments I will have, ending with a meeting with my chosen surgeon, are:

• Two seminars on Weight Loss Surgery
  
• Blood work
• Introductory meeting with Bariatric nurse
• Introductory with director of WLS program at BIDMC
• Ultrasound to determine if I have gallstones
• Stress test
• Nutritionist
• Psychologist
  
• Exercise physiologist
  
• Surgeon

i.e., extensive.

On my application to the Bariatric Surgery Program at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, my answer to the final question of "Tell us about yourself..." was:

My primary reason for wanting to get control of my eating and consequently my weight is because I am fearful of all of the adverse health conditions that have accumulated in my body due to being significantly overweight in the last 15 years. Yes, there are many activities that I no longer can do because of my excessive weight. Things like walking, hiking, enjoying the adventurous aspects of traveling. Then there is the self-loathing that results from my lack of discipline to "just eat less" and my appearance.

I'm pretty smart and that has worked against me. Although I was very successful in loosing weight in Overeaters Anonymous, after a while I started to fail because I started to ignore the advice that "Thinking is not on of the tools of OA". And indeed it has taken me several years to fill out this form, because after I investigated everything there was to know about weight loss surgery, I thought "Why go through that? I can always exercise the discipline that you will need after the surgery and loose weight without going through the surgery." The only problem is that I never got around to exercising the discipline, and so the weight stay on. I have finally realized that all of this intellectualization has resulted in me weighing 350 pounds and on the verge of diabetes, the third or fourth medical condition due to my obesity. My biggest fear is how to deal with the stress I currently relieve by medicating myself with overeating. Then, of course, there are the unknowns about what it will feel like after the surgery, and the well publicized surgery complications.

Having said all of this, I want you to know I am both enthusiastic as well was watchful about what I am going to do. Please wish me luck.

Harry

P.S. Why did I choose the name "Reboot" for this blog? Well, in computers when the machine starts to perform badly because of the accrual of lots of junk, mismanaged memory, rogue processes, etc., the best thing is to reboot the machine and start from scratch. I find this a metaphor for what I am about to do regarding my eating: lots of bad habits, reasons for eating, out of control behaviors. The best thing is to start again with learning how to eat and WLS surgery is the only 100% foolproof way to do this. -- HF

Loosing confidence, limitless support and some small victories

Last night as I was sitting in Church at the Christmas Eve service, I started thinking about some things that I had been reading -- not all of which were supportive of the decisions I have made about WLS. In particular, I started thinking about an article I saw on a website of a bariatric surgeon where a table indicated that Lap Band surgery was both more disruptive and restrictive in what you can eat, as well as less effective than Gastric Bypass surgery.

Then I read the whining of someone who was 3 months post Lap Band surgery and discouraged about her progress.

Together this put me into a funk about whether I was doing the right thing.

I decided to talk about this on the drive home with my family. I told them what I was thinking about. My older son shot back immediately that he was so relieved that I was going through with this operation.

His gut reaction reminded me that although this operation and the significant effort I will spend for the rest of my life is not going to be easy, my need to do this is not a vanity, but rather a requirement, if I am going to get my life back from the destructive results of overeating.

I thank my family for being straight and direct with me. It is so easy to get off track when thinking about this emotional topic and their unswerving support is going to help get me through the confidence dips.


On a brighter note, I am now on the 2-week pre operative diet which is really not too bad -- although as my wife points out, I have had a long time to get used to all of this and you, the reader, may think that some of the things I think are "normal" take some getting used to.

From now until the day of my operation I am eating 4 meals a day: 3 "meal substitutes" and 1 "normal" meal. The substitute meals are some form of high protean meal (a bar or a shake). I've found one brand of bar, Balance Bar Gold, that is pretty good. Still trying to find a shake that tastes OK -- with most of them the taste of whey is a bit strong for me.

I've actually lost about 13 pounds since I started the screening process back in September (343 down to 330) -- that is encouraging, although I am no fool on this weight loss stuff to think that if I can loose 13 pounds myself, maybe I can continue without the surgery. I've lost 13 pounds many times before -- in fact I've lost 70 pounds before, only to gain it all back. I am expecting the Lap Band surgery to help counter the "gain it all back" component of most diets.

I am also realizing that there are many elements of this that are just like the diets I have been on before -- that the principles of weight loss (control food intake & exercise regularly) are the same. The only difference is that my appetite will be decreased and controllable by the adjustments to the band.

When people say that this is taking the easy way out, they are quite wrong. This is no easier than going on a regular diet: it will be hard work. But the difference is that part of my limitless appetite will be decreased. The emotional appetite won't be impacted and I will need to concentrate a lot of effort to defeat that component of my overeating. End of post, so don't ...